Surviving the Newborn Witching Hour: A Mom’s Story of Support and Connection

With expert guidance from IBCLC Summer Friedmann of Done Naturally

One of the most rewarding aspects of being a part of the Bonsie team is meeting extraordinary individuals who support new moms. Summer Friedmann, IBCLC, founder of Done Naturally, and a member of our expert panel, connects with countless moms across the world to help them meet their breastfeeding goals. Summer also has a Youtube channel full of crucial breastfeeding information, runs her own lactation practice, and moderates an online breastfeeding support group. She literally reads every single question posted in the group of 7K moms– ask me how I know. 

Summer Friedmann, IBCLC and founder of Done Naturally 

Emily here. Mom of three, writer, and your postpartum cheerleader. Three months ago, I delivered my third baby girl, who is currently nestled against me, fast asleep in her carrier. (The best feeling in the world!) I want to share one small hiccup we had while in our newborn bubble and how Summer’s wisdom and community was the balm I desperately needed. 

When my baby was three weeks old, she began crying every evening from about 6-9 p.m.-ish. At first, it was just cluster feeding, and from experience with my first two daughters I knew to hunker down and nurse on demand. (I truly didn’t even know what cluster feeding was when I had my first baby. One of the many reasons I’m so passionate about lactation support now. Cluster feeding= very hungry and will want to eat much more frequently.) But then cluster feeding shifted to a Never Ending Witching Hour. 

My baby was sometimes consolable, sometimes not, and overall very fussy and unsettled for hours. When breastfeeding, babywearing, or skin-to-skin contact didn’t work, the only thing that would calm her was the sound of the fan in the bathroom. I wish I had footage of the many times I tried to tip toe slowly out of the bathroom, softly bouncing my baby girl in my arms and making the “shhh” sound to keep her asleep. Now that she’s out of this phase it’s comical how much time my husband and I spent trying to figure out what she wanted and how to make her happy. 

For anyone who might not know, the witching hour is a period of time, typically in the evening, when a baby is fussy for no apparent reason. (Of course, they have their reasons, they’re just unknown to us, and it isn’t anything serious.) Remember that there is so much going on for a newborn baby as they adjust to their new surroundings, and by the evening they are overstimulated and not sure how to cope yet. They may also be extra hungry to store up calories before bed. The three experts I spoke with all had similar recommendations: feed on demand, practice skin-to-skin, and babywear. The trifecta of bonding. Fresh air and sunshine throughout the day can also be a game changer. (There isn’t a lot that fresh air and sunshine can’t fix.) A nice warm bath is also a great way to mix things up and promote relaxation. My nighttime routine typically looked like this: babywearing while she napped, then nursing, then bath and skin-to-skin time, followed by more nursing, followed by swaying and singing in the bathroom. Repeat. 

A mother rocks her baby

During the six weeks that we spent in the strange witching hour phase, I felt that I must be doing something wrong. If I can do everything just right, she will calm down in the evenings, I told myself. I cut dairy out of my diet, paid close attention to everything else I ate, and tried to mix up her schedule to somehow dodge the witching hour. It didn’t work. I also talked to our pediatrician, my midwife, and an IBCLC; all agreed that it was nothing serious–just a phase. However, my other babies did not experience this level of fussiness and I felt that my third baby was a riddle to be solved. I posted a question in Summer’s group and she shared some videos about the witching hour and calmed my fears that there was something wrong with me or my baby.  

In addition to her witching hour tips, Summer shared some insightful words with the whole group that deeply resonated with me. It was a powerful reminder that babies have good days and bad, are often unpredictable, and that spending hours googling or making impulse purchases to “fix” a problem isn’t usually the answer. What is the answer? Connection. Connection. Connection. Showing up, all day every day, with our loving arms, our kind words, and our attention.

I’m sharing Summer’s words below because I am certain our Bonsie Community will benefit from this reminder, just as I did. 

“Babies are human. We get into trouble when we expect babies to be predictable, or do things at a different time than we’d prefer. Hold that thought for a second. Isn’t that funny? Think about it. We get upset when a baby does something that is normal but not on our timeline??!?! They are their own person, with their own individual body that functions in its own time.

“When you sleep longer, or shorter, or eat more today than yesterday, does anyone else have a say in that? Absolutely not!

“Do you have the same disposition all day every day? I think not.

“Did you know adults also wake up many times at night? We do not sleep uninterrupted. We have sleep associations, too. We wake, switch sides, fluff our pillow, adjust our covers, reach over to give a snug to our partner, then drift back to sleep. And we wake often having no memory of those. Those are healthy sleep associations that we develop over time.

“Babies have the most instinctive, natural sleep association there is. Suckling to sleep. That’s healthy. Be warned of anyone who tells you otherwise. Sleep trainers, sleep consultants selling you ‘we can give you a plan to get your baby to sleep 8-10 hours at night within a few weeks.’ Beware. Save your fn $.

“That can hijack a milk supply and a baby’s growth in a flash. And goes against the science we have, against The American Academy of Pediatrics, The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine ...to name a couple of organizations that aren’t dumb dumbs. Can we just let babies be babies?!

“Our babies are born dependent. That’s nature. It’s hard wiring we can’t unwire without risk...risk of growth, milk, and detachment. Independence naturally grows from healthy attachment (dependence) when they are developmentally ready.”

After reading Summer’s post, I wanted to cheer out loud. It made me feel at peace with our very unpredictable nights and relaxed my entire approach. What once felt like a high-stress situation now just felt like another opportunity to bond with my baby and learn all her quirks. I knew she would be fussy and I was prepared to just ride it out, chill in the bathroom with the fan going, and be present for whatever she needed. 

Summer’s words need to be shouted from the rooftops. Her reminder also feels deeply aligned with what we value at Bonsie—care that prioritizes connection over control, responsiveness over rigid schedules, and trust in both babies and parents. Summer’s perspective reinforced what so many new moms intuitively feel but often need permission to believe. 

A group of moms holding their babies

And from one new mom to another, I urge you to join a mom group if you aren’t already part of one. There is something deeply primal and essential about women mothering together — especially in the postpartum season, when even a single word of encouragement can feel like a lifeboat. I remember one particular late night, awake and nursing my hungry girl, reading comments in the Done Naturally group. It was so comforting to feel the quiet solidarity of all the moms awake at odd hours, loving their babies and doing the hardest, most important work. The community Summer has created is a beautiful testament to moms empowering one another — and a reminder that one piece of advice from an expert can truly change everything. Again, ask me how I know.

At Bonsie, we’re honored to broadcast voices like Summer’s—experts who lead with lived experience, compassion, and deep respect for the mother-baby relationship. Because when moms feel valued and supported, babies feel safe, and that sets the stage for thriving development and healthy relationships. 

So, to all the moms holding their babies tight right now, exhausted but straining to capture every moment, I am right there with you. And to Summer and her group of loving moms who applaud every small victory, thank you.